


Write a love letter to yourself

by BloodthirstyMerc



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Android Gavin Reed, Feels, Fluff, Gavin Reed Needs a Hug, Gen, Human Connor (Detroit: Become Human), It's an OC Connor, Love Letters, Self Care, Self-Acceptance, Self-Reflection, Soft Gavin Reed, Support, Tags Are Hard, This is a version of Connor but it's not game Connor, but if you want you can just pretend it's canon Connor tbh, i'm kinda shoving myself into gavin in this, positivity, self love, wow a sfw fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:27:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24823072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BloodthirstyMerc/pseuds/BloodthirstyMerc
Summary: Highlight the good things that are easy to forget on the hard days.
Relationships: Connor & Gavin Reed
Kudos: 14





	Write a love letter to yourself

**Author's Note:**

  * For [psychovampireboi666](https://archiveofourown.org/users/psychovampireboi666/gifts).



_Write a love letter to yourself._

_Highlight the good things that are easy to forget on the hard days so that you can read it when you need to. You may not have the spoons to write it tonight or even believe it right now, but please write it when you’re able._

_And remember you have value and are worthy of love and being cared for._

\- - -

Gavin tapped his fingers against the piece of paper in front of him. The writing was neat, nothing fancy or anything, but nice. It was something he was familiar with, but usually in reports and post stick notes stuck to his work computer for reminders to do with certain cases. Never usually written to him in something so personal.

The page had been folded when it had been handed to him, and it wasn’t quite perfectly straight. It sits slightly bowed on his coffee table now, twitching with every tap of his fingers. He’d tried to smooth it out as much as possible, but there was no way that it could flatten fully again after being folded the first time, but it had been unfolded and folded again multiple times.

Three days ago, when Gavin was leaving work, Connor had jogged over to him and handed over the piece of paper and told him not to read it until he got home. Gavin hadn’t thought much of it at the time, but he doesn’t really think much about anything Connor gives him.

They were closer, but not… close. At least, Gavin didn’t think so. They had their moments, which could mean sometimes they got along like they were best buds, and other times they butt heads and swore black and blue at each other like they so often used to before… everything changed.

Gavin wasn’t expecting what he saw on the paper when he finally got home and finally got around to reading it hours later. He almost messaged Connor to tell him to shove it, that he was _hilarious_. But he didn’t, and then he read the note again and he was glad he hadn’t. This wasn’t a joke, and he could tell. Because he knows that Connor knows him well and that Connor means it when he says that he is cared for, valued… loved. Connor can be an asshole, and Gavin can be too, but this isn’t something that Connor would fuck around with.

Three days, Gavin has refused to bring it up to Connor and has only revisited the note when he’s been home, staring at the words, reading it over and over. He thinks about just tossing it at least twice, but he stops himself from doing so both times. Does he truly believe that he deserves something like this? Does he think he can even write himself a _love letter_? Not really, but after everything that he’s been through with Connor he thinks he should give it a try.

Which is what he’s doing tonight, with his laptop open in front of him, the note beside it, trying it’s best to urge him on. But he has no idea where to start, or what to even put down. Because what is good about him? It’s hard to think about the good, and he knows that’s why Connor’s given him this. With a sigh, Gavin looks to the blank document before him, watching the cursor blink at him, waiting for him to just fill the page with words.

Gavin finally shifts on the couch and his hands come to his keyboard. _Just write, get your thoughts out and come back to it later_. He takes in a deep breath, and his fingers start working across the keys as he exhales.

\- - -

“Stern,” Gavin calls out just as Connor’s collected up his belonging, about to head out and home. Connor lifts his head as Gavin walks up to him and holds out a piece of paper, folded as precisely as he could manage it.

Once Gavin had gotten writing last night, it had been easy for him to get his thoughts out, to get the words he wanted to say written down. And he realised, there was a bit of good in him that he could write down. He’d printed out a copy for himself and folded it into the note Connor had given him. It was at home, on his bedside cabinet, waiting for him to read it when he needed it, just as Connor had asked of him. But he wanted Connor to see it too, so he’d printed a second copy for him.

He’ll admit, he’s kind of proud of himself, and he hopes that Connor will be at least pleased he tried. Because their relationship was… changing. They were closer and he wanted to do this. For himself, and for Connor.

“Don’t read it until you get home,” Gavin says before he pats him on the back and turns to walk away. “Have a good night, man.”

“You too,” Connor calls back, but Gavin’s already moving back to his desk.

When Connor gets home and eventually gets around to reading the note that Gavin gave him, he’ll find it reads:

_It’s hard finding good things about yourself. Even when you’re having a good day, it’s easier to look to other people and compliment them before you try complimenting anything about yourself. It could be achieving a huge goal or simply completing a daily task, and yet sometimes you can’t stand back and say to yourself “you did good today.”_

_But I know I have good qualities, even if the bad sometimes outweighs them. They are there, and they deserve to be celebrated, especially when I can only seem to focus on the bad. Writing a love letter to myself feels weird, honestly. But I know that at least one person out there cares enough to think I deserve something, so I’ll give it my best go._

_I’m hardworking, and no one can take that from me. Maybe that seems more like a positive toward work ethic than actually a good thing about myself, but I should pride myself in my work. Even if it takes me longer than planned to get it done, I get it done. I set my mind to it, I work hard on it and I make sure I complete it._

_I’m loyal, to myself and others. I do what I can for those I care about. Even if it’s in small ways, even if I don’t always show it. I’m loyal to the people in my life who have earned that loyalty. I can and try to be a good and supportive friend, even though I know that getting that message across is hard and sometimes I just sound like an asshole._

_I’m strong. Not just in body but in mind. Even though I go through rough patches, some that seem inescapable, I manage to pull through. I fight through everything because I know that if I give up, there’s nothing for me. I fight for the people who care about me, for myself. I fight to prove to myself that I can and will make it through anything, so long as I believe that I can make it through it. I’m strong, I am not weak. I know I am strong._

_My body is my own, and I should cherish it for what it is. I have imperfections, but we all do. But that doesn’t make my body disgusting. It’s not, it’s who I am, it’s what I am and I should be proud of it. Maybe it needs work in some aspects, and that’s okay. But no matter how my body comes, it’s my own, and I should care for it as it is, because it’s the only one I have._

_My passion and my drive are strong, and I should be more proud of that. Because I’ve never given up on what I believe in. I fight for my beliefs, I’m passionate about them and I push through with them. I don’t let anything get in the way of what I believe in._

_These are just some of the good qualities that I, Gavin Reed, do have. Even if they don’t always show through, even if I can’t always see them, they are here. And it’s because of these, that I should care and love for myself, and accept other people’s love and affections. Because I am valued as a person._

_And I can love myself, even in the bad. Because it’s what makes me human._

**Author's Note:**

> [Check out my Tumblr :)](http://bloodthirstymerc.tumblr.com/about_merc)


End file.
